Contact Us

Welcome to the Administrative Department of Phuckery, where bureaucracy meets benevolence. Whether you are a member of the press, a potential partner, or someone seeking to nominate a deserving soul for an Honourary Degree of Phuckery, you have reached the right desk — metaphorically speaking.

Please complete the form below. Responses are typically swift, occasionally profound, and always written in full sentences.

Our Office Hours: Whenever we feel like it.

Campus Address: Wherever boldness resides. Also known as: the internet.

Response Time: We aim to reply within 24-48 hours. Unlike traditional universities, we won't make you wait three weeks for an advisor appointment or put you on hold for 45 minutes listening to hold music from 1987.

General Enquiries
Questions about shipping, digital downloads, or existential purpose can be directed to our support staff. You may also consult the FAQ Page for answers to life’s most frequently asked absurdities.

For Press & Media Enquiries
Members of the media are invited to use the form below to connect with Chancellor Eleni X for interviews, commentary, or philosophical debates conducted over espresso. Please specify your publication, deadline, and tolerance for satire.

*Visit The Dean’s Office (Press & Announcements) for recent bulletins and official nonsense.

For Partnerships & Collaborations
We welcome collaborations with brands, artists, and organizations who appreciate the intersection of humour, intellect, and aesthetic excess. All proposals will be reviewed by a committee of experts in irony and good taste.